What are you doing brother?!

When you wish upon a star

2011-10-17T23:19:00.000-07:00

I remember I had just finished a great day at Disney World when I suddenly received text messages saying that the Miami Dolphins had beaten the New York Jets. To my amazement, I screamed so loud that other Dolphins fans also began spreading the good news of a victory.

This was our last win in the regular season.

This was December 12th, 2010.

Now staring at an 0-5 record, the Dolphins are coveting a player, whom by the very definition of the word itself, holds no significance to this organization: Luck.

Ah yes, Luck. The very explanation of what sent Jim Harbaugh to the San Francisco 49ers after the Dolphins so desperately sought after him in the offseason. Harbaugh is 5-1, and well we know our record.

Luck, the same word that explains why Miami would not try to sign running back Ahmad Bradshaw of the New York Giants, who performed rather well this week scoring 3 touchdowns versus the Buffalo Bills. That's 5 rushing touchdowns this year for Bradshaw. Miami has 2 rushing touchdowns all season, one by Lex Hilliard and the other by Chad Henne.

Luck, the same word that saved Tony Sparano from keeping his job after going 1-7 at home last season. The same word that explains how he will keep his job at the end of the season.

It is strikingly odd how a franchise who has made some of the worst front office decisions in all of sports, is seeking the one thing it knows absolutely nothing about: LUCK.

FOR THE LAST DECADE, MIAMI DOLPHINS, WHAT ARE YOU DOING BROTHER?!

"I have a dream"

2011-10-05T11:07:00.000-07:00

I have several dreams. Many of these dreams haven't come true, but aren't far from becoming a reality. The key to making a dream become a part of your existence is not to take no for an answer. Work hard and stand strong against opposition. Remember ladies and gentlemen, the only competition out there is ourselves so don't become your own worst enemy.

How does this relate to sports you make ask? Well, the NBA season is potentially days away from not occurring. Greed is "partly" responsible for a delay in the players and owners not being able to come to an agreement. The players are standing up for what they feel is an injustice being done to their pockets. Unfortunately, the owners feel like their pockets are being served an injustice as well. This brings me to this month's list titled, "I have a dream." Enjoy folks.

1) I have a dream that the NBA has a season. I don't want to become a muscle head. Face it, what else will I do in my free time?

2) I have a dream that the Titans will make it to the playoffs and pose a threat to the rest of the league.

3) I have a dream that athletes will conduct themselves like Wet Willies and "Call a Cab," when they've had too much to drink. You make entirely too much money not to be able to afford one.

4) Please stop taking illegal substances and acting like you won't be drug tested. I have a dream.

5) I have a dream that athletes will stop allowing women in their hotel rooms with camera phones.

6) Women please stop acting surprised when your superstar athlete for a husband is unfaithful. I have a dream.

7) Don't expect to be on the road having your fun while your significant other remains home waiting for you. I have a dream.

8) I have a dream that I'll eventually enjoy baseball again.

9) Will the Lakers win another championship in the Kobe era? I have a dream.

10) When is Michael Jordan going to step into role as NBA commissioner? I have a dream.

11) Retire Peyton Manning! You have MVP's, a superbowl ring, and enough money for your kid's kid's to live off of. We don't want you to comeback and potentially risk having an injury you can't recover from. I also don't want to see the Colts back on top. I have a dream.

12) For my Detroit natives, can the Lions continue their excellent play and deliver playoff success? I have a dream.

13) Athletes please stop having all these babies with multiple women. You guys can afford condoms. I have a dream.

14) It pays to be intelligent. Don't pay for others to be intelligent for you. I have a dream.

15) Realize that God has blessed you with a talent that others love to see. Don't let money overtake your skill. I have a dream.

I hope people don't get offended by what has been stated. These are just my opinions folks. Don't get overly sensitive. If you do, what are you doing brother?

Beginning of the end

2011-07-18T15:16:00.000-07:00

Two of the most prominent sports in the U.S. are facing a potential lockout, which could be detrimental to sports lovers such as myself. Sixteen plus weeks of action packed Sunday's gave me a legitimate reason to indulge in throat quenching Miller Lite, as well as chow down on the most unhealthy foods known to man. It also allowed me to hang out with the guys. We would talk about the women we lust for along with screaming at the television every other play, even though the players couldn't hear us. If not at a friends house, the ale house became my next destination, adding to the large amount of money they rack in during the NFL season. Football on Sunday allowed married men to have a valid reason to ignore their wives and reunite with long lost friends while women caught up on certain domestic duties. I'm only kidding ladies as many of you watch the sport even if it's for different reasons. There's nothing more attractive than a woman that loves the game and can share a beer with you at the same time.

As if not having an NFL season isn't bad enough, us as sports fans are faced with the prospect of not having an NBA season either. Fresh off of one of the highest rated NBA finals in recent years and an underdog prevailing over the giant, it was quite a story with this lockout being a blemish to this clean page in the book of history. I'm sure most of you have heard about the reasons why this lockout is taking place so I'm not going into the details, but it's ridiculous in my opinion to say the least. What I'm I going to do from October to June if the lockout continues? Shall I attend the gym at
a rapid rate? Will I fornicate more or will I hit up the fridge with reckless abandon? These are just some of the questions which I hope I don't have to answer.

I'm sure bars across the globe will be affected financially if these lockouts go through especially during the football season. People might actually drink more due to depression caused by their favorite sport being canned. People could also just stay home, which would be a shot to bars all over. On the flip side, it could cause for better communication amongst couples allowing their love to flourish. The point I'm trying to make is please end these lockouts immediately. I can't take everyday looking like Valentine's day and I damn sure don't want to see more drunk drivers on the road! Can both leagues end the lockout? Say it with me commissioners, "Yes we can, yes we can."

THE MASTERMIND OF MASTERMINDS

2011-05-25T22:43:00.000-07:00

I love it when a plan comes together... Don't you??? Pat Riley is a God amongst mortals. He is Napoleon (Bonaparte) the general tactician of the Miami Heat, while every other GM is Napoleon (Dynamite) eating tater tots & playing tetherball as the rosters they are paid to oversee teeter-totter in the standings. Pat Riley always has a plan, he is playing chess while everyone else is playing checkers. Always thinking 3 steps ahead of the so called competition.

This past summer he flawlessly orchestrated the Biggest free agent offseason in NBA history by resigning Dwyane Wade & acquiring PF Chris Bosh along with the Hugest, most promising & talked about Free Agent EVER in LeBron James!!! After that he was able to add great supporting role pieces & kept the backbone intact with Udonis Haslem(team Co-Captain for years) & Mario Chalmers. Resigned & added 3 point specialists such as James Jones(All-Star 3-pointer Champ) & Mike Miller along with Eddie House & also a few veteran big men(Ilgauskas, Howard & Dampier) to help out Joel Anthony in the middle through the rigorous 82 game marathon. & in a mid season move added Mike Bibby to the mix.

Amassing such a talented cast of players would lead you to believe that he would win Executive of the Year... Right??? Not exactly, he had to share the award with the Chicago Bulls GM. A man who tried to sign Wade & LeBron but failed to deliver. All he could do was sign the left over free agent scraps in the form of Carlos Boozer.

Seriously? What a Joke!!!

How in the Hell does Boozer = Wade+LeBron+Bosh???

That math doesn't make sense! I don't care how Forrest Gump/I am Sam/Simple Jack you are!

Bosh alone is greater than Boozer (as seen below)

Bosh > Boozer

Who are the Dr. Pepper drinking, ping pong playing Morons that decided to pull such a Bulls**t move???

I mean is the Heat Hate such that blinds everyone to the reality of what "is" & what "isn't"? From the obvious to the absurd? I am seriously baffled by this garbage that is being passed for unbiased integrity that the league is standing behind shamelessly, idiotically projecting outward to the mass media in propaganda form & ridiculously trying to dumb down a well informed audience; an NBA savvy fan base...Really???

David thinks he is Goliath but in reality all he is is that hunchback cast off from "300" You know the one that betrays the Spartans. The one that can't lift the shield above his shoulder, the weakest link. Yeah that's exactly who he is.

Hey David Stern, "What the F**k are you doing brother?!?!?!?!"

Special Edition

2011-05-10T14:54:00.000-07:00

Excuse me for my absence for the past month or so, but I'm here to deliver the 2011 NBA Playoff edition of "What Are You Doing Brother?" Up to this point in the playoffs, we've seen some expected as well as unexpected occurrences happen right before our eyes. Here are my top ten moments up until now. Enjoy it or hate it, but read it none the less.

1) The Golden State Warriors or should I say the Memphis Grizzlies have beaten the Dallas Mavericks in the first round. My apologies, I meant to say the San And Old Spurs. It's the San Antonio Spurs. Pardon me for my mistake. An eighth seed knocks out a number one seed who won 61 games during the course of the regular season. "What are you doing brother?"

2) The Atlanta Hawks, who were 44-38 during the regular season and staggered into the playoffs, beat Superman and the rest of the Magic in the first round in six games. The runner up to this year's MVP averaged 27.0 PPG and 15.5 RPG yet it wasn't enough to beat a team, which they swept the year before. I have this to say to the Orlando Magic team, "What are you doing brother?"

3) Pau Gasol averaged a dismal 13.5 PPG and 6.8 RPG in the first round against the New Orleans Hornets. These are pretty good numbers for a good player but for a top big man in the league and a prominent All-Star, these numbers aren't acceptable especially in comparison to his season numbers. We must also take into account that his primary defenders were the undersized Okafor and Landry. More about Gasol and his teammates later in this blog but for now, "What are you doing brother?"

4) Rajon Rondo dislocates his elbow in a game, yet comes back minutes later to make a significant contribution to his ball club. Meanwhile towards the end of the season, Shaq injuries himself with no one within arms length of him and misses significant time. "What are you doing
brother?"

5) It took OKC all the way until the third overtime of last night's game to realize that Durant was the best player on their team. Your the second best player on your team Westbrook. You don't have to be Derrick Rose. "What are you doing brother?"

6) I just found out a couple of days ago that Andrew Bynum got $13.8 million this year and is expected to make $15.2 million next year. You give this to a guy who not only is injury prone, but also is a sore loser who intends to injure an opposing player in defeat. To the L.A. organization, "What the hell are you doing brother?"

7) Ron Artest reportedly got up some extra shots after his exit interview. If you were doing that all season long you might have shot the ball a bit better and been more consistent. "What are you doing brother?"

8) Laughing at the Lakers free throw defense during the series against the Mavericks. In other words, they weren't guarding the three point line as if the opposing team was shooting free throws. "What are you doing brother?"

9) To the Bulls organization for thinking Boozer could compliment Rose as the second option, "What are you doing brother?"

10) To the Atlanta Hawks fans who feel it's acceptable to chant "MVP" to the opposing team's star, "What are you doing?"

That concludes this edition of the top ten "What are you doing brother" series. Stay tuned for future entries.

Big Apple, Tiny Nuts

2011-03-19T01:52:00.000-07:00

Bill Clinton apologized for staining his reputation, among other things. David Letterman asked for forgiveness due to allegations of dipping his pen in the company ink. Tiger Woods said he was sorry for swinging his nine iron both on and off the golf course. These men made mistakes, but they owned up to their actions. They faced the proverbial music.

Carmelo Anthony shot a woeful 2-12 in 37 minutes of action, scoring only 6 points in Friday night's 99-95 loss to the Pistons. His performance on the court was mirrored by his actions after the game when Anthony boycotted answering questions from the media and stormed out of the locker room. Anthony sat inside of the team bus wearing his sunglasses all by his lonesome.

Even though Anthony's stats had as much success as Kim Kardashian's new 'hit' single, it is inexcusable to skip out answering tough questions. In just 14 games, the man who said he would embrace the big bad New York media is now more emo than the kid from Wedding Crashers.

A few weeks ago, it was reported that Anthony was laughing at a few Miami Heat players for crying after a loss. Judging Melo's behavior after this game, the team's 7-7 record after the big trade, and the continuing dilemma of being the worst defensive team in the NBA, it seems that the Knicks first round playoff opponent will have the last laugh and
eventually sending all Knicks fans to tears.

For walking out of a locker room and avoiding the media after scoring only 6 points against the non-playoff bound Pistons, all Knicks fans said to Melo multiple times on Friday night...

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING BROTHER?!"

30 for 30

2011-03-14T20:08:00.000-07:00

This blog is not about the highly acclaimed, ground breaking documentary series that has thoroughly entertained us sports fanatics for the past year or so on ESPN with such highlights as "Fernando Nation"(Mexican Power baby!) , "The []_[]"(Thug U in all it's glory! ... Swagger much?) , "Run Ricky Run"(we still got love for you Ricky, even though you still puffing on that Bob Marley like there is no tomorrow). Other favorites include "Winning Time: Reggie Miller vs The New York Knicks" (I love seeing The Knicks fans being tortured... haha!) & "The Two Escobars" (very well done documentary which showed the parallels between the drug kingpin & the slain Colombian national team defenseman). This is NOT that , this is this, like Robert De Niro put it ever so eloquently in the Academy Award winning film "The Deer Hunter" by delivering this classic line "see this? This is this. This ain't something else. This is this." This blog is about what has happened in the past 10 days in the association.

What if I told you that El Heat went to San Antonio 10 days ago & lost by 30 only to return the favor tonight in Miami & dominate Los Spurs by 30? What if I told you that in the past 5 days My Miami Heat has defeated the 2 time defending NBA Champion Lakers(swept them) & have now avenged their biggest loss of the year(eye for an eye style) against the best team in the NBA record wise?

What if I told you that I heard Dwyane Wade invoking Liam Neeson's character in "Taken" by quoting him as he looked right at Gregg Popovich & said "I have very particular set of skills; skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you...... I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you."

What if I told you I witnessed LeBron stating a la Russell Crowe in "Gladiator" to all the bystanders courtside before the tip-off "My name is LeBron James, commander of the Armies of South Beach, General of the Miami Heat, loyal servant to the true emperor, Pat Riley. I will have my vengeance, in this life or the next."

What if I told You during the morning walk through Chris Bosh in a state of blood drunkenness shouted what King Leonidas told his Spartans "Ready your breakfast and eat hearty... For tonight, we dine in hell!"

The season is coming down to the wire. We are at the home stretch & Miami is Heating up. & if you ever doubted My Miami Heat, What are you doing brother?! Sit back, get comfortable, grab some snacks, a front row seat & enjoy... or squirm like an oyster when I squeeze a lemon into it for the next decade, it doesn't matter to me. Can you feel the HEAT?

"I ain't a killer but don't push me
Revenge is like the sweetest joy next to getting p***y"

-2PAC

I may be wrong, but I doubt it!

2011-03-12T10:01:00.000-08:00

Charles Barkley's recent comments about the Knicks lack of defense is equal to Lindsay Lohan working as a high school guidance counselor; in this case Lohan would be limited to stealing number two pencils and delicious Mexican pizza's from mid pubescent boys in the cafeteria. Back to Barkley...

Charles Barkley is one of the greatest players to ever play the game of basketball. He's a two-time gold medalist, an NBA MVP, and a member of the 50 greatest players in NBA history. The one knock on Barkley's entire career was his lack of defense. That's right. D-E-F-E-N-S-E it's in the dictionary!

Now lets be clear, to use a quote from the NFL, the Knicks can't stop a nose bleed on defense. But Barkley's criticism of the Knicks lack of play is rather odd considering he played 16 years in the league and never once made an NBA All-Defensive team. Furthermore, for those of you old enough to remember, he was posterized by a young Chris Webber in one of the best facials given without a XXX warning label.

Former Knicks forward Charles Oakley responded to Barkley's comments during a recent interview with 560 WQAM's Sid Rosenberg:

"My thing is, when Barkley played basketball, he didn’t practice, he wasn’t a leader, he wasn’t this or that, he just had natural talent so he got chosen to the Dream Team, All Star team because he had the talent and he was the franchise player on the team. Him criticizing all those other guys, he did the same thing when he was young. As soon as they do something wrong, he criticizes them, that’s wrong. He wasn’t real to the game…"

So for criticizing others for something you failed to do for your entire career, you Sir Charles get a big....

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING BROTHER?!"

an "F" in Bracketology

2011-03-11T21:14:00.000-08:00

I love March Madness it's one of the greatest sports spectacles that a die hard sports fan can ask for. The tournament has everything, it has buzzer beaters, underdogs beating giant programs(David vs Goliath style), inspiring storylines, regionalism amongst diverse schools, a way to actually interact & feel like part of the competition by filling out your own bracket, & did I mention Cinderellas upsetting powerhouses? It's totally freakin' awesome!

But like all things in life it has it's pros & it's cons. The ying to it's yang. The Tourney as it currently stood from last year was as close to perfect as it can get. But now they are adding a few more teams & potentially going to 96 schools in the not so distant future. But that's not what has drawn my ire. What has me going apesh*t is the banter that transpires way before the first tip. I dread ESPN segments of "the last 4 in & the first 4 out". In these segments we get to listen to two college has beens that were not good enough to either get drafted to the NBA or make it onto an NBA roster, or worst of all didn't even play ball in NCAA. These buffoons go back & forth debating whether this school's strength of schedule was better than that school's margin of victory over top 25 schools etc. Honestly I get more basketball knowledge by hangin' with Mr. Cooper or by listening to Bill Murray draw up a game plan to stop the Monstars. I'm positive that if I ask my Indian friend to let me borrow his turban & I stop by Party City & purchase a crystal ball I could pick the bubble teams more accurately than those clowns in suits attempting to work the telestrator. So here are 16 things I rather do, be or allow to happen before watching another second of that nonsensical garbage.

1. Catch a Chuck Norris roundhouse to the face.

2. Be a Cleveland Browns season ticket holder.

3. Listen to Soulja Boy's entire discography followed by Justin Bieber's debut album.

4. Watch the complete series box set of The Golden Girls on Blu-ray.

5. Get snuffed "Hangover" Style by Mike Tyson.

6. Be the real life version of "Paul" from "The Wonder

Years" mixed with "Screech" from "Saved by the Bell".

7. Get Rick rolled 100 more times.

8. Be Dan Gilbert's Publicist.

9. Take Chaka Khan to a nudist beach & apply sun tan lotion all over her body.

10. Do the Polka dance in full outfit while "Steve Urkel" plays the accordion.

11. Engage in a menage a trois with Nancy Grace & Jane Velez- Mitchell & after we're done we cuddle & talk for hours on end.

12. Sit next to Charles Barkley during a Heat vs Spurs game as he shouts "Giiiiiinooooobiliiiii".

13. Be married to Marcy D'Arcy from "Married with Children" & be forced to wear a "YES MA'AM" T-shirt.

14. Have dinner with Rush Limbaugh, Don Imus & Bill O'Reilly at my grandma's ONLY Spanish speaking house.

15. Let Charlie Sheen negotiate the next Middle Eastern Peace Treaty.

16. Be the tortured Irish thug that was protecting "Charlie M." in Martin Scorsese's "Casino" (due to copyright laws I have posted an animated version of the famous scene below).

So if YOU have already seen at least 10 minutes of that wretched, atrocious, vile, abominable segment on SportsCenter & your brain hasn't yet turned into mush then I will be forced to ask YOU, "What are YOU doing Brother?!"

"Jersey Score"

2011-03-09T23:08:00.000-08:00

Northern New Jersey is home to many things: Rutgers University, those lovable Jersey Shore kids, and guys in jump suits who work in waste management, car dealerships, and strip clubs. At Madison Square Garden on Wednesday afternoon, the only thing missing from the list above would have been Snooki turning her ankle on a fast break.. (which we at the Blog are in favor of!)

With the score 65-63 and less than 3 seconds left on the clock, St. John's Justin Brownlee stole a pass from Rutgers' Gilvydas Biruta and proceeded to celebrate their win. The only problem was that the St. John's player stepped out of bounds during his celebration leaving 1.7 seconds left on the clock. The referees decided that the game was over and walked off of the court. Interestingly enough, the game's overall scoring line before tipoff was 127.5, the game's final point total was 128.

Rutgers most famous graduate, Tony Soprano, was not believed to have had money against his alma mater. There is no truth that former St. John's star and former NBA benchwarmer Felipe Lopez won a whole dollar that he used for a $0.29 hamburger from McDonalds.

What is true though is that thanks to this poor effort of officiating, these referee's made many people with money on this game SCREAM....

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING BROTHER?!"

The Notorious B.I.G. & Shaq - Cant Stop The Reign

2011-03-09T20:01:00.000-08:00

Two greats in their respected crafts killing the competition. Sit back and enjoy. R.I.P. BIG.

"It was all a dream"

2011-03-09T18:50:00.000-08:00

"Sports and music are so synonymous/ cause we wanna be them and they wanna be us."

A rap lyric by young superstar Drake gives you a brief insight on how sports affect music and vice versa, particularly within the hip hop community. One can date back to the 80s to see the influence that these two genres of entertainment have had on each other. Since this is March 9th, a day that saw one of the world's greatest rappers succumb to street violence fourteen years earlier, let me focus on the Notorious BIG.

"The sh** she kicked, all the sh**s legit/ she get d*** from a player off the New York Knicks." Now I don't know about you rap fans out there, but for years I wondered, "Which Knick player could he be referring to?" In my mind, I almost got an answer towards the end of the track when one of his friends ask which player it was. His response was "One of them six-five ni****." Now if you were an NBA fan growing up in the mid to late 90s, there's one popular six-five player that was a tenacious defender and streaky three point shooter for the Knicks during this period, John Starks. If not him then perhaps Doc Rivers, even though I highly doubt it. I guess this question will remain unanswered until as Big put it, "one of them six-five n***** confesses to the incident."

SUPER NINTENDO, SEGA GENESIS..... SHAQ?! MAN I COULDN'T PICTURE THIS

2011-03-09T02:34:00.001-08:00

***VIEW THIS VIDEO BEFORE READING ***

Shaquille O'Neal is a larger than life figure that surpasses the boundaries of the NBA & professional sports in general...

Christopher Wallace also known as The Notorious B.I.G. was a star, better yet a supernova in the hip hop world where many people my age would escaped to by pressing play on our boom boxes...

Both men were living legends in their respective careers. While one was dunking on the hardwood the other would be battling on the streets. When someone would be wearing an O'Neal jersey you can bet that he would also be reciting a Biggie Smalls verse. You see rap & basketball go hand in hand, both universes influence & inspire one another, so interwoven they are, that they created a subculture. So to hear about a friendship between these two greats is not that far-fetched it is actually reassuring in a way as a hip hop head & a basketball enthusiast to know that both these icons had a dual admiration & respect for each others craft.

Shaq has made it his mission throughout his NBA life to salvage, turn around or contribute as a final piece to different franchises. The Orlando Magic became relevant in the national point of view & in the competitive landscape of the league when they drafted Shaq & a year later teamed him up with Penny Hardaway. From that moment onward when the general public thought of Orlando they would now acknowledge that a professional basketball team resided there & that it wasn't just a theme park safe haven. After that he went to Hollywood to join the showtime Lakers which at that point lacked the "showtime". With the leadership of Phil Jackson & the slashing prowess of teammate Kobe Bryant they "three-peated"(phrase coined & trademarked by Pat Riley), won back to back to back NBA titles. & when that situation soured due to overblown egos, Shaq took his 3 rings to Miami in a blockbuster trade orchestrated by the mastermind that is known as Pat Riley where he would team up with another superstar in Dwyane Wade & he would help the Miami Heat obtain their first championship.

Flashback to another world, another time. Biggie had just dropped his debut album titled "Ready to Die" which was an instant classic in the hip hop realm. His legend grew more & more by the verse, by each new joint that got radio play & each track that he appeared on as a featured guest. He was on top of the world. He also released "Conspiracy" with his group Junior M.A.F.I.A. He never got a chance to see the release of his highly anticipated & highly acclaimed second album "Life After Death" which was a double disc masterpiece.

So I think to myself, why was Shaq able to save 3 different NBA franchises but was not able to save Biggie? Why was he not able to save a man that if still alive would be a beacon of light in hip hop's darkest hour? Why? I let my mind wander from time to time & allow myself to imagine a world where Tupac Shakur, Christopher "Big Pun" Rios & Christopher Wallace still roamed the earth as hip hop giants. To be honest in my musical heart of hearts I'm extremely saddened of what hip hop has become. To these present day "Rappers"(I put the word in quotations because I'm not convinced they're real) you should stop what your doing & listen to real hip hop & understand that that is NOT what you're creating. So I'm gonna ask you "What are you doing you auto-tuning, finger-snappin' Brother?!" You killin' me smalls you killin' me(pun definitely intended... 2ice).

So in conclusion, I leave you with a super dope rhyme in which Frank White incorporates a boxing champion, the best basketball player ever & the king of pop seamlessly like only he can. Today is March 9th & as a true hip hop head I felt it was necessary to pay my respects. The GREATEST Rapper of all time died on this day 14 years ago.

"Excellence is my presence, never tense
Never hesitant, leave a n*#%a bent real quick
Real sick, brawl nights, I perform like Mike
Anyone -- Tyson, Jordan, Jackson
action"

-The Notorious B.I.G.

R.I.P.

Christopher George Latore Wallace

(May 21, 1972 – March 9, 1997)

THE POST GAME INTERCEPTION

2011-03-06T21:49:00.000-08:00

So a few months ago I was DJing a charity event at Miami Children's Hospital where many local sports teams and some out of town sports franchises had representatives of their respective organizations show up for a few hours for a great cause. Those in attendance included Alonzo Mourning(who is synonymous with the highest standard of charity work, awareness & non-profit foundations in South Florida). The beautiful award winning Miami Heat Dancers, the Indianapolis Colts Cheerleaders, the entire Miami Hurricane football program, as well as all the local TV stations NBC, ABC, CBS, FOX etc.

So as the afternoon progressed in a fair weathered Miami day I visited the various food stands for some refreshments & that's when I bumped into Jacory Harris, starting QB of The Miami Hurricanes. We exchanged pleasantries, took a picture throwing up The []_[] & we parted ways, or so I thought. Ten minutes later we were once again face to face in the Paella line. As his turn came to get his hefty plate served with a mountain of delicious Paella, a family of fans with a baby came up to him to get a picture taken. The server held her outstretched arm holding the monstrous dish, but Jacory was occupied with the family of Cane's enthusiasts. As I noticed her arm weakening I did the chivalrous thing & took the plate from her tiring arm. That's when Jacory used his peripheral vision(which he never used all season) and spotted the theft. Before he could react, the interception was already being taken to the house(and by house I mean straight to my stomach!). I didn't even need to disguise my coverage or send a corner blitz as the LBs dropped into man cover 2. I seriously felt like Troy Polamalu timing the snap count, leaping over the offensive line & obliterating the opposing QB.

So after that occurred I found myself zoning out with each bite of the pure goodness of this Latin dish that I was shoveling like a coal miner into my mouth. Thirst was the next thing that needed quenching as the Paella had warded away and stiff-armed my hunger. By this time #12 had already gotten his plate and was now seeking the same thing I was, a cold refreshing beverage. I dipped my hand in the ice cold soda bins seeking a Sprite or Ginger Ale but all I was coming up with was Diet Coke. By the looks of it Mr. Harris was in the pursuit of the same thing as I was. As I reached the last soda bin with the ice already reduced to just cool water, I dipped my hand elbow deep and pulled out what appeared to be the last Sprite! I felt like Denzel Washington in "The Book of Eli" with what I held in my possession!

After I finished the Sprite and scrapped the last remnants of rice from the plate, I wondered if I got credited a sack to go along with my interception after I got the last Sprite. At least 1/2 a sack was deserved for my efforts! So after my battle with Jacory I went back to My DJ booth area to play some music for the Heat Dancers & Colts Cheerleaders as they had a dance off to the same song. All in all it was a good day. But for letting someone like me intercept him then sack him I gotta ask Jacory Harris....

"What are you doing Brother?!"

Poetic Style

2011-01-18T12:49:00.000-08:00

I have decided to switch up the format for today's entry, but with the same content so sit back and enjoy.

Despite the large sum, he kindly rejected the budget

I guess Carmelo doesn't want to be a Nugget

But some things in life he just has to accept

Like the fact that he could soon be a New Jersey net

I'm sure that idea probably makes him sick

Especially since he'd rather be a New York Knick

What would make this potential scenario more appealing to all

Is if he went to the Empire state along with guard Chris Paul

Now I know many Dolphin fans are mad at the Jets

Especially since Taylor left to sign a bigger check

But at the end of the day it was a business deal

His season is still alive while the

Dolphins.....I know how you feel

Because I'm a Titans fan and we lose for fun

We don't have a quarterback either so you can say that we're done

So when it comes to the Superbowl who do you expect to win

I really don't care as long as the Steelers don't do it again

MLK day occured the day before

Sports represent racial equality yet there's still more in store

Everyday should be about change and having a dream

Whether on the court, the field, in your life, or on the big screen

Last I checked one doesn't pick their favorite player based on their looks

It's about their performance and how they impact the record books

So before I end off I'd like to say what's up to my fellow

blog brothers and all the others

And to those of you in the sports world, "What are you doing brother?"

Salmonella at Sun Life Stadium

2011-01-17T13:06:00.000-08:00

If you go to a restaurant and spend $50 on a shitty dinner, would you go back to the same place again? Chances are, the answer is no.

What if the restaurant apologizes for its bad service and promises change? Say the owner declares to make an effort to find the best chefs on the market, yet keeps his terrible cook and offers him more money to stay.

Stay with me now, what if the restaurant owner apologizes for the bad food, apologizes for keeping the bad chef, yet vows to still make the proper changes to have you, the customer, coming back for more...would you spend your $50 then?

Finally, say the change that was promised is the hiring of a chef from the second worst rated restaurant in the entire country. Would that change your mind?

If your final answer is no, then you truly understand the value of money. The rest of you, are Miami Dolphins season-ticket holders.

Allow me to introduce the characters in this story: The fowl smelling dinner which you want to send back is the 1-7 home record. The owner promising all of the changes and coming through with none is owner Stephen Ross. The bad cook who uses the blandest ingredients to make your dinner something that can be found at a local hospital, is Tony Sparano. And the new chef from second worst rated restaurant in the country, also known as the Cleveland's Browns juggernaut 31st ranked scoring offense, is newly named offensive coordinator Brian Daboll.

For those of you who will continue to spend $50 on this 'craptastic' meal 10 times next year, all we can say is....

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING BROTHER?!"

Make That Three Scoops

2011-01-14T14:10:00.000-08:00

If you know me personally you have listened to me bitch about more than a few things. One of the things I complain the most about is today’s hip-hop, or whatever is left of it. Most of the music labeled as “hip-hop” today is pure garbage, and the way the artists carry themselves doesn’t help it one bit; take for instance Alabama native Gucci Mane, who recently tattooed an ice cream cone with three scoops with the expression “Brr”, and red lightning bolts on his face!

They have said Gucci Mane was in a mental institution and recently got out, but after this he should go right back in. What part of the world, or in what planet is tattooing an ice cream cone considered cool? Seriously. I have looked at the picture of his new face art over and over trying to make sense of it, and all that comes to my head are the words: idiot, moron, loser, comemierda, sapingo. (If you don’t know Spanish you won’t understand the last two, but they’re in the same family with the English ones.)

I thought when Mike Tyson got a tattoo on his face that it was dumb, but I accepted it because 1) it was some sort of tribal, and 2) because it’s Mike Tyson, a man who kicked ass for a living, is a two-time heavyweight champion of the world, a sports icon, and not some D-list rapper.

Even as I’m writing this I’m shaking my head at the stupidity Gucci Mane has done. Not only does he embarrass himself with his whack ass rhymes, and his wrong-way driving, but now this. Does he want someone to lick his face? Does he run like a little kid when he sees, and hears the music blasting from an ice cream truck? Even the way he’s posing in the close up picture is stupid.

The tattoo artist said he will never tattoo someone’s face again, no matter how big a celebrity they are.

So for that ridiculous tattoo, Gucci Mane...WHAT ARE YOU DOING BROTHER?!?!!?

Gooooooot Daaaaaaammmn!!!

2011-01-12T10:54:00.000-08:00

That's all one can say after the Cavs 112-57 annihilation at the hands of the Lakers last night. In a Charles Barkley voice, "Mark Price and Larry Nance must be rolling over in their graves right now."

It's hard to believe that this is the same team that won the eastern conference the previous two years, but then again they had a guy named Lebron James. Last night proved James' greatness to his former ball club because how in the hell did he get that team to win 60 plus games two seasons in a row? One can only wonder. My cousin's high school basketball team could put up more points than the Cavs did last night. Hell, Wilt Chamberlain would've had a field day against the Cavs by himself.

I must say that Cavs owner Dan Gilbert was right about a curse taking place. However, it's not James who is experiencing a curse unless you call having the best record in the Eastern Conference at 30-9 bad luck. Or perhaps it's their 13 game road winning streak, which is only three games away from the 16 game road winning streak record set by the 1971-1972 Lakers. They've also won 21 of their last 22 games so maybe that's a bad thing. If this is what you call a curse Gilbert then you must be seeing these games through Steve Wonder's shades.

On the flip side, the Cavs aren't 30-9. In fact, if you turn that record around, the Heat would still be better than the Cavs. That's a damn shame or in facebook terms smh! Check NBA.com to view their standings because it's not worth mentioning on this blog. It's about as sorry as Chris Dudley's free throw percentage or Kobe Bryant's old song featuring Tyra Banks. I bet you forgot about that Kobe but I didn't. Just stating the facts.

So to Dan Gilbert and the drugs and alcohol he may have been consuming when making such an inappropriate and damn right idiotic statement, "What are you doing brother?" You wouldn't even be able to get Antoine Walker, who's dying for a spot back in the NBA, to join your roster even if you paid off his gambling debts. So for your executive decisions Mr. Gilbert, you get what my friends and I would like to call the "BIIIIITCH!" In other words, your decisions clearly weren't thought out thoroughly and as a result your organization and fans are suffering.

To many Cavs fans, I'm truly sorry that you have to endure this. However, some of you I laugh at due to the immature antics displayed when you found out your "King" was going elsewhere. The only person I kind of feel bad for is head coach Byron Scott even though he should've known there was a great chance that James would be leaving the Cavs. I hope you weren't on the same stuff that Gilbert was on because if you were, "What were you thinking brother?"

Miami Dolphins attend AA Meeting

2011-01-07T00:09:00.000-08:00

Being a fan of the Miami Dolphins is like having a family member with an alcohol addiction.You will always love them, but sometimes you can't bare to take it any more. Those who overcome the disease say that the first step to recovering from alcoholism is to admit that you have a problem. Well Dolphins fans, that day has finally come.

My name is (insert your name here) and I have a problem. My problem started after what I thought was a great decision. I hired Jimmy Johnson to coach the team and expectations were sky high. After a few seasons, he quit as head coach for 24 hours, and then rejoined the team like a high school teenage couple breaking up and making up 10 times during a 3 a.m. phone call. This was only the beginning of my addiction.

Dave Wannstedt, in his stoic 1970s mustache and Pittsburgh based accent, soon took over after Jimmy. Fans were greeted with field goals, disastrous playoff losses, and a certain dread locked running back. Ricky Williams, the league's top running back at the time, destroyed his opponents with punishing runs and glorious touchdowns. Much like walking in to find your wife with another man, Dolphins fans were shocked and outraged when Williams retired overnight to pursue traveling, exploring, and spending quality time with his love Mary Jane.

My addiction would only grow even stronger. I then hired Cam Cameron, a promising offensive coordinator, to become the next Head Coach. Cameron's motto was "Fail, Forward, Fast," which is exactly what he did. He failed drafting Ted Ginn, moved his opponents win total forward, and got fired fast after a 1-15 season.

At this point my addiction was reaching an all-time high. I then brought Nick Saban on board. He had the chance to sign current UFL quarterback of the Sacramento Mountain Lions...Daunte Culpepper. Or sign current Super Bowl XLIV MVP...Drew Brees. Who did Saban sign? Ron Burgundy has the answer.

After the traitor Nick Saban left me for Alabama, I then hired a fiery offensive line coach from the Dallas Cowboys who would be known for his enthusiasm and enjoyment (for field goals)...Tony Sparano. We fooled many teams, including our fans, by going 11-5 and winning the AFC East. We then came back down to earth with back to back 7-9 seasons and an offense that was probably the reason narcolepsy went up in Miami by a whopping 65% during Sunday afternoons from 1pm-4pm.

Recently, I tried to hire a coach, while still having a coach under contract. If I believe the circus, better known as the media, I would have found out that I never had a shot at Stanford coach Jim Harbaugh, a small chance, a great chance, a done deal chance, and back to no chance, all in a span of 24 hrs. So I will now go back to the same problems that I had.

My name is the Miami Dolphins, and I am an alcoholic.

What are you doing brother?!

Editor's note: Dolphins fans could not be reached for comment directly, but hired Ron Burgundy to explain their feelings about life after Dan Marino. Here's what he said.

Gilbert Arenas, Ray Charles, Stevie Wonder…What’s the difference?

2011-01-06T13:50:00.000-08:00

So Gilbert Arenas told J.J. Redick, “We’re the two best white shooters in the NBA.”

Really?

It’s true that Arenas has Cuban ancestry, and to Cubans, black Cubans aren’t considered black, they’re considered Cuban. It’s just the way it is, but I doubt very much that Arenas is very much in touch with his Cuban roots. I could bet my life he wasn’t hearing a Celia Cruz tune in his head as he uttered those words to Redick.

So why would he say this to Redick? Either a) he doesn’t own a mirror b) he’s color blind, or c) by pretending he’s white he believes he won’t get fined and/or suspended by the NBA.

If Dave Chappelle’s Rick James would spot Arenas in the street, he’d shout out, “DARKNESS!!!!” If that happened would Arenas look around and say, “Who you talkin’ to man? I’m white!”

It seems Arenas has either lost his mind, or one of those three scenarios above is in fact true. And why didn’t J.J. Redick respond with anything more than a chuckle when Arenas told him this? He didn’t want to get shot. The man has been known to carry a piece, or two.

So for thinking he’s a few shades lighter than what he is, Gilbert Arenas...

“What are you doing brother!?"

Mayo gets Miracle Whipped

2011-01-04T22:58:00.000-08:00

A grizzly bear attack on an aircraft! Stand clear PETA patrons, no animals were harmed during this incident. The same can't be said for O.J. Mayo, who exited the team plane on Sunday with his personal belongings, iPod, and oh yeah a swollen face.

One would think that perhaps Mayo was injured during the Grizzlies victory against the Lakers on Sunday night. But that would defeat the purpose as to why this blog would be written. Sure enough, Mayo and teammate Tony Allen according to multiple websites were involved in a fist fight on the team flight back to Memphis, causing Mayo to suffer noticeable swelling to his face. Why on Earth would the Grizzlies be happy? They surely wouldn't be after defeating the back-to-back champion Lakers, would they? It's not like it's the biggest win of their season or anything?

To put this into perspective, imagine you have a massive crush on a girl in high school. She is the head cheerleader, the most popular girl in school, and you would be happy if she even knew your name. You go to a party, get her ridiculously inebriated, and you finally score with visual proof. You are still a giant nerd, and no one will ever think that you are cool, but for one glorious night, you have shed your dorkish ways and are congratulated by everyone. Instead of being happy, you pick a fight with one of the toughest guys in school the next day and leave with your face looking like Antonio Margarito after his fight with Manny Pacquiao. You are now known as the guy who got his ass kicked, rather than Rico Suave.

Back to Mayo, he missed last night's game due to what the team called "bronchitis." For getting a giant jar of Miracle Whip Ass, both O.J. Mayo and Tony Allen get our famous...

"What are you BOTH doing brother?!"

Lakers like a marriage experience ups and downs

2011-01-04T21:33:00.000-08:00

In a state that is most known for it's glitz and glamour and big screen dominance, a new script is developing in "Laker land." In what has become an improved relationship between Kobe Bryant and Phil Jackson over the past few seasons, Monday's 104-85 beat down courtesy of the Grizzlies prompted Phil into saying that when his team was down "Kobe has to screw up the game and start energizing the team by going one on one and takes the rest of the guys out." So do you mean to tell me that arguably one of the top five greatest players of all time and back to back finals MVP contributed to your team losing to the sub par Grizzlies at home? What are you doing brother?

Try distributing that blame around evenly starting with your All-Star center Pau Gasol who had 6 of his disappointing 10 points in the first quarter or your bench, which has been playing lackluster in recent games. Do I even have to mention Artest? I think not. As most fans would say along with myself, Kobe is not the main reason for the Lakers recent inconsistencies. With all that being said, most Laker fans aren't surprised by Phil's recent antics. Known as the "zen master" by many, Phil in past years has been known to say the most outlandish things at times to help engage his team in better play, which in turn causes a media frenzy. At the end of the day though, the man has 11 championships so in my opinion he can say whatever the hell he wants even if he calls out his star player or players.

Will this be the last time Phil calls out one of his star players following an embarrassing loss? Probably not, but this is what Phil does and in the end he usually prevails. I mean, this is the same guy who wrote "The Last Season" A Team in Search of It's Soul", which took several cheap shots at Bryant during the 2003-2004 season. For those that remember, that resulted in Shaq being traded and Phil leaving the Lakers only to return a couple of seasons later. The rest as they say is history.

So for Laker fans and sports fans in general, no need to go crazy over the recent hoopla. This is just that "time of the month" for Phil but as it does with women, it eventually goes away and things resume back to normal. If you don't believe me, the very next day Jackson said that he didn't mean the term "screw up" in the sense of an error but "crank it up" to help get his team back in the game. Kobe's response to all of this, "He was right." What are you guys doing brother? Your not fooling anybody. We've seen this all before. At this point in my observation of Phil and his years of coaching, I have the same response known to those around the world. See image above for description.

Rex Ryan's mouth is big, stomach jealous.

2011-01-04T12:08:00.000-08:00

It's hard to imagine anything on Rex Ryan being larger than his gut, but be assured his stomach has been bested by his mouth (though neither seem to be larger than his appetite for feet).

The larger than life head coach for the New York Jets was at it again on Monday. When asked if this Saturdays meeting with the Indianapolis Colts was personal, Rex Ryan was quoted as saying: "Is it personal? Yes, it's personal. It's personal against him, Reggie Wayne, all those guys, yeah. Freeney and Mathis those other dudes? Absolutely."

Last time I checked, the NFL was a business. You see, Peyton Manning and the rest of the Indianapolis Colts are in the business of winning and shutting down other teams. More specifically, other team defenses.

What are you doing, brother?! Rexy, this isn't a personal matter. This is what Manning, Wayne and all those guys get paid to do.

Though in Rex Ryan's defense, I will say that it must come across as something personal. I mean it's not easy dealing with a 1-5 record as a defensive coach in your last 6 meetings with the future hall of famer [Manning]. It's downright starting to become a thorn in the side of Ryan's defensive schematics being picked apart so easily.

If the Jets come away with another loss at the hands of Manning and all those other guys this Saturday, I imagine he'd rather be answering foot fetish questions at the press conference than having to explain why he wasn't able to cash another check written by his mouth...

..again.

That's What She Said!

2011-01-04T10:42:00.000-08:00

Courtesy: ESPN/Getty Images

ESPN broadcaster Ron Franklin did his best Michael Scott impression after a conversation with fellow reporter Jeannine Edwards. Though we do not know if Toby Flenderson was called in to get two men in on the job, what we believe to be true is that during a production meeting prior to the Chick-fil-a Bowl, Franklin referred to Edwards as "sweet cakes."

Edwards could not hold it in any longer and said that she would not like to be called that name. Franklin was not about to pull out. He proceeded to say "Ok then, asshole." Franklin could have gone on all day, but corporate told him that he must think about it long and hard, as they removed him from the broadcast team at the Fiesta Bowl.

Edwards must feel that as a female reporter, it must be easy to get in but impossible to rise up. This is Franklin's second incident and the network can't stay on top of him 24/7. Hopefully now at least ESPN can put this matter to bed.

Not before though, you Mr. Ron Franklin, get the second "What are you doing brother?" of 2011! Franklin could not be reached for comment, but when asked if there was something he wants to get off of his chest, he quickly replied:

Turiaf's technical 'fowl'

2011-01-03T23:16:00.001-08:00

Ronny Turiaf has brought new meaning to "scoring with the tip-in." The boisterous Knicks center is now at the center of a swirling controversy involving a self-proclaimed Twitter prostitute named @candyDEEPTHROAT.

The budding internet star, Ms. Deepthroat, lives by a few very simple words: "I just have the mindset that if I'm gonna be boning somebody sexy, why not benefit more than just getting my orgasm on?"

The jury is out whether the 6'10, 245 pound Turiaf is the epitome of sexy. What is certain is that his new love interest is quite angry that he has not returned her calls and she is threatening to release more pictures of this power couple; the classic story of an NBA benchwarmer and his partner, the poster-child for abstinence.

For having your business all over twitter, and inside 'candy's jar', you Mr. Ronny Turiaf get the first "What are you doing brother?" of 2011!

Courtesy: Deadspin.com